Episode 20: Balancing emotional work and parenting

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In part 2 of my interview with the Associate Director of the Carol M. Baldwin Breast Cancer Research fund Jacqueline Keuchler-Calveric we talk about the emotions of her work and how she struggles to balance those roles just like many women. She also talks about the ways she works out her stress through some creative means. I hope you enjoy. 

Find part 1 HERE.

Mom Guilt

I'm like many of you moms out there- absolutely in love with my children. I've heard from many moms who experience mom guilt when they have to be away from their children. Just like those women- I feel it too. Moms tend to put themselves on the back burner in order to respond to their children's needs first. Understandably so, children need a great deal of attention and care. Because of that- we are tired, stressed out and often run into the store for milk in our pajama pants because we just don't have the energy to pull ourselves together. Don't judge.

How do we balance out what our children need and what WE need?

I don't claim to know the answer. 

I've noticed recently that I've started to carve out a little mommy time on Sundays. It used to be right before dinner. The last couple weeks it was when I got up. The time didn't matter. It was the act of going into my bathroom, taking a nice long shower, giving my hair an extra wash and then sitting down and blowing out my hair that mattered. It's not the most exciting routine to tell you about, but it really is exciting for me to do. Sometimes I listen to meditation music or watch a movie I've seen more than a hundred times. Many times I watch educational/inspirational videos on YouTube. The kids used to come barging in, but the last few weeks they've respected that the door was closed and waited patiently for me to come out.

I've come to look forward to my Sunday beauty time. What I've learned is that it's ok to shut the door and get some me time. I'm not ruining their lives by taking an hour or so to pull myself together. In fact- I'm better for it. I'm also aware that I may not get to take the time for myself every week- but the weeks I do, I will try to enjoy it. I suggest you try it. It's ok. It really is ok that we to find a place on the priority list. I'm writing this as much for you... as for myself to remember.

How do you take some "Me" time? I'd love your advice and input on this topic.

We Moved.... And Now We're back

Thank you to all of you who continue to check for new content on this site. Ok, so, way back when... (now longer than I'm willing to admit) I got really excited and started a new fancy website with graphics, I increased my content, got all excited... and then life got in the way.  I allowed a couple of 'negative ninnies' to get into my head... when MANY MORE of you told me to keep writing. I began to freak out about our company sale, then not for sale, then for sale again--- and finally it sold. I stopped running (not permanently, I hope)... sigh. It's been a long road. But, basically I just stopped because everything just got too difficult for me. I have so much to tell you- but I'm not going to go all into it in one post... lol I need content here if I'm going to get back at this thing!

So, I've decided to simplify things. The fact of the matter is- I love blogger. It's easy. It's FREE! And I know the interface much better than I did with the other website. That was a big hurdle for me- so, I just decided to come back here.  Cheers to me opening up my mouth again!LOL

When is it time to take it down

My tree was leaning and missing ornaments in one whole chunk of the tree for longer than I'm willing to admit! It got worse and worse as the days went by. I admit- I had hoped the "Christmas Tree Fairy" would come and take mine down last week- but she didn't. So, it lingered for a week longer.

It looked so sad. Ornaments began to fall and toys under the tree seemed to be spread out farther and farther. Somehow the cat--- who never climbed it once during the holidays--- decided "well, if she's going to keep it up, I'm going to climb it daily!" Sigh....

I finally said UNCLE! Sunday was the day to clean it all up. It only took an hour. I spent more time complaining about it... figures, right?

Did you know the "traditional" day to take down your tree is January 6th? According to Christian tradition you take it down on the day of Epiphany, January 6th. But apparently people also used put their trees up Christmas eve. Most people have their trees up for much longer than that- don't you think?

Have you taken your tree down?

Jean Shopping

Everyone tells me jeans are comfortable. Until this past weekend I had one pair... and hated them. It would be a rare blue moon when you would see me in a pair because I just never could find the right pair. Being a curvy girl with long legs- the perfect pair had always been illusive.

My girlfriend Janeen wears them all the time. She always looks cute and comfortable! So- I went to her with my problem. She was confident we would find the right pair.

We started at Macey's searching the Levi bold and curvy line in the junior section. My curvy hairstylist had been wearing a pair that looked amazing and I thought- maybe they were the ones.

I immediately freaked out because there were numbers and words like 32, 21, inseam, regular. O.M.G! What is this all about!?! I started to freak out and called for a sales associate. She tried her best to find a single pair of tall curvy jeans in my size- but couldn't. She gave me a size smaller and size bigger. I couldn't get them past my hips or I did and it created the dreaded "muffin top"! AND I DON'T HAVE A MUFFIN TOP! It's a small baby pooch... thank you very much!

I left disappointed. Then we went to Express. Janeen said we would find the pair there. I asked the associate for curvy, tall and in my size. They only had tall in low rise. WHAT THE HECK! Do you not make jeans for girls with hips? I tried all of the talls she had- and they fell too low below the hips. I'm not about sticking out. Then just as I was about to give up- she said- "Well, we do have high waist jeans."

What could it hurt. Let's try them. My girlfriend freaked. NO MOM JEANS! But I put them on- and.... FELL IN LOVE! They were comfortable, stretchy, skinny jeans that made me feel like I looked good in them. I don't think Janeen was as sold on them as I was... but she knew I needed to feel good in them or they would stay on the shelf.

I loved them. They were buy 1 get 1 50% off... ANNNND I had a $30 coupon. Two pairs of jeans for $100. Pricey- but worth how I feel in them. So now- I actually own 2 pairs of jeans! It took years but finally I had them thanks to my friend helping me out!

Do you like jeans? Have you had a hard time finding the right ones? Tell me about your experiences in jean shopping.

Good Blowout

Sometimes you just need a good blowout to make you feel good. My hair had been taking on a life of its own recently. Combine home renovations, house clutter from said renovation, the start of school, busy kid after school activities, needing to work out, creating a back-to-school friendly nightly meal plan, a birthday, an anniversary, a friends sad passing and a welcomed house guest... and you have a shell of a woman who has been just trying to breathe.

Some of the stress was good stress, some bad. I'm used to stress- so in my mind it was no problem! Bring it on! But, I wasn't handling all of the happenings very well. I thought I was- but now I know I wasn't. So, I took a deep breath and tried to prioritize. Once the list started getting shorter I realized- perhaps a trip to the salon could help lift my spirits... and get rid of the gray roots. Mind you- I do go to the salon each month as part of keeping myself up for my job- so all these activities happened in such rapid succession it felt like it had been ages since I made a trip to see "my girl". It hadn't been!

 

"My Girl" is Vivi from Jean Paul Salon in Stuyvesant Plaza in Albany New York. She's been my stylist for more than 8 years now. I love her. She's not only my stylist- she's my girlfriend, my councilor, my sister and my advisor. I sat down in her chair yesterday and said "LOOK!" pointing to my hair. She said "Don't worry girl! I'll hook you up!" She did! I love her. We hardly talked yesterday. Some times it's a gab fest, others it's a decompression session. Yesterday she let me sit back and relax. It was just what I needed. She gave me a killer blowout... even after I told her I was on my way to go work out! Nothing can ruin a good blowout like sweat!   

  

I walked away feeling great and ready to tackle the world. I got a good run in, didn't mess up my hair too bad and it saved me a good 20 minutes this morning when I was getting dressed. I feel good today. Sometimes you just need a good blowout!

 

What helps you de-stress? Do you like getting your hair done?

My Husband Is Being Terrorized

The man who can sleep through anything... I mean ANYTHING... A.K.A. my husband... is being terrorized. It starts at dusk and reaches a fever pitch when the sky is black and the lightning bugs light the way!

Apparently the frogs are looking to set up a shag shack in our neighborhood. They are planning the meet up, wooing each other with their low and high pitch croaks. Bow chica bow wow.

Gotta love when I told him I was blogging about this he happily volunteered to record the sounds. (Yes the video is black--- well, because it's at night folks and if he turns on the lights they stop croaking-hehe)

And for once--- I can gladly proclaim-- I don't ever hear the commotion! Me- the person who my husband says "can hear a gnat fart" (sorry- that's how he describes it)- I can't hear them!

Is it sweet revenge for all those nights he snored through the baby changes? Come on frogs- he didn't miss too many of them. Who knows- but it's cracking me up! He runs around the house saying "I hate em! BRUUU BRUUUU" shaking his head as he tries to mimic their sounds. He is becoming pretty obsessed with it... even proclaiming that if he catches them we will be "enjoying frog legs for dinner". Uhhh- not gonna happen.

The Gunk

It's been a tough go in the Kenney house. Two weeks ago my youngest daughter got strep. She had to stay home from school a day. Last week my son got a virus. He had to stay home a day. Yesterday my youngest daughter woke up with the virus. She had to stay home again. We've had snow days-- where the kids had to stay home and 1/2 days at school--- where the kids had to come home early.

They are my priority... obviously. I love to be home with them--- just not for these reasons. I wish I could say we were taking a little trip or maybe just sitting around enjoying some down time, but we haven't. It's been a stressful couple of weeks that I've dealt with by getting some short but killer workouts in... when I can... doing a little bit of writing and scrap booking. It's better to do a little something than nothing at all right?

The positive side- I've gotten a lot of mommy and me time. My bucket is full of hugs and kisses and I can tell my kids appreciate the extra attention... and I have enjoyed giving it to them

I can't wait for the spring weather to arrive. Our home lucked out with absolutely no illnesses this winter... until 2 weeks ago. We were home free.... so close... yet so far away. I'm looking forward to putting my laundry on the line, airing out my house and feeling the warm sun and a mild breeze. Until then I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed that my eldest daughter is able to avoid the gunk that's going around our house. 

Would You Do This?

Travis Barker, the Drummer for Blink 182 has to bow out of the Australian leg of the band's latest tour. He refuses to fly after surviving a September 2008 plane crash. That crash claimed the lives of four people, including 2 of his best friends.

Barker and the late Adam Goldstein were the only survivors. Goldstein died in 2009 from "acute intoxication" from a combination of illegal and legal drugs.

Barker says he still hasn't gotten over that plane crash and he won't fly. I don't blame him. While some people think the way you get over a tragedy is to face your fears- others are of the mentality that he was lucky or even blessed to cheat death- why put yourself in that position if it's unnecessary. He is likely traumatized for life. I fall along the lines of... after that--  don't fly.

What do you think? Do you think he should fly and try and get over the fear or do you agree with his decision to have a stand in for that leg of the tour?

4 Ways To Reduce Stress

Photo: decryptedmatrix

Every one I know is looking for ways to reduce their stress. According to Dr. Herbert Benson, a specialist in mind and body, about 60-90 percent of all physician visits are stress-related.  In Eastern Medicine meditation is often recommended to help you monitor your breath, feelings and lower your stress levels.

How to meditate

A lot of people may imagine meditation looking like a person sitting down on a pillow, eyes closed and perhaps repeating a mantra. Well, there are a variety of ways to meditate. You can do it anywhere and while some who meditate may do it that way- others can do it simply by applying a little mindful focus.

Here are 4 tips to help you reduce your stress levels through meditation. 

1. Go out into nature.

Take a nature walk. If you become one with nature by taking in the sights, sounds and smells  you will calm your thoughts.  Also pay attention to your breathing.

2. Start the day with a little meditation.

Experts say if you commit to doing 5 to 10 minutes of meditation when you wake up could set you up for a stress free day. 

3.  Become mindful of stress in your body. 

You ever notice out of the blue that your shoulders are so tense they are touching your ears?  Learn to recognize when you're getting stressed out. When you feel yourself getting tense stop and do some meditation.

4. Meditation lunch break. 

A lot of people use food as a stress reliever. Turn it around. Take 15 minutes of your lunch break to meditate before you eat. You may find that you will get a hold of your emotions and make you feel better.